by Andi Dahmer
Being a parent is challenging. Being a law student is demanding. Being a parent as a law student entails an extra layer of focus and dedication. Balancing the demands of law school with the responsibilities of parenthood requires creativity, resilience, and a strong support system.
In choosing a research project for Ms. JD, I wanted to select a topic which was relevant to prospective students and the integral challenges that women face in the legal profession. When I selected the topic of parenting in law school, the most common question I received at the start of my interviews was: “How old are your children?” While I do not personally have children, I feel deeply connected to this topic because of my classmates at the University of Louisville. These students, and their peers around their country, have experienced their own struggles, triumphs, and experiences as student parents. Their stories deserve to be told so that others might learn from them.
I was first introduced to the idea of parenting in law school and the struggles of mothers in the legal profession through a research internship with MothersEsquire, an online community and nonprofit which supports mothers who are attorneys. While the number of women in law school has steadily increased over time, this does not negate the continued challenges that women, particularly mothers, in the legal field experience. These complications increase under the additional challenges of pregnancy and parenting. One of the greatest things I learned from Mothers Esquire, and conducting these interviews, is that communities of support can create substantive administrative change.
When two students within my law school class became pregnant in their 2L year, I was inspired to work with administration to help support them to overcome some challenges they faced. In researching for this article, I conducted interviews with student parents and former student parents from my law school, as well as the University of Florida, Cooley School of Law, and Loyola University: Chicago.
This series of interviews provided valuable insight into how one might overcome challenges as a student parent or ally of student parents. This article will outline ways to cultivate a supportive community and work with the administration of your law school to not only survive but thrive in law school as a parent.
One of the most important aspects of parenting in law school is recognizing that you are not alone. Some of the most commonly referenced challenges throughout my interviews included: a lack of awareness of student needs from law school administration, feelings of isolation, and lack of connection with other student parents.
Kylie M., a third-year student at the University of Louisville Brandeis School of Law, recognized that she was one of many student parents at her law school. In order to form a more supportive community and work collaboratively with administrators, she re-founded the student organization Parents Attending Law School (PALS).
PALS acts as a network of peers who understand the unique challenges that student-parents face. PALS’ students meet to embark on collective outings to the Zoo, to study together, and even to host a brunch with the Dean. Kylie shared in her interview that PALS has been a great support system, and that thanks to PALS, her law school is working toward amending policies to offer greater support.
The balancing act of law school and parenthood is undoubtedly difficult, but there are strategies that can help student parents succeed. Often, in addition to forming communities externally, internal boundary setting and managing self-expectations is helpful. Many interviewees shared the importance of not allowing self-doubt to interfere with progress, and that progress is incremental. Jackie from Cooley School of Law shared that "give yourself grace" was her biggest mantra in law school. That helped her "take it one semester at a time, and trust that things will work out."
Time management is also key. Parents in law school often become experts at managing their time effectively. Jackie set boundaries about when she would spend time studying and when she would be completely focused on family time. One interviewee described how she incorporated bar exam study into her everyday life by creating sticky notes with key concepts in the kitchen and reviewing charts while preparing meals for her young children. "You have to take advantage of every moment," she explained. "Even the little moments can help you stay on track." One mother also emphasized the importance of pre-planning. "Anticipate what’s coming," she said. "[Being a parent is] like being a lawyer in that you’re trained to think ahead and prepare for contingencies."
Kylie M. and her son, Mason, in their portrait for graduation
Despite the hardships, one universal theme emerged from all of the interviews: family is a powerful motivator. Many of the student parents emphasized how their children inspired and sustained them through tough moments. One mother stated: "My son motivates and inspires me. He makes me push through the tough moments because I am working to give us both a better future."
Kylie shared that she has performed better academically after the birth of her son, Mason. "I can visualize what I am working for now. There's a purpose to everything I do, and it gives me more drive." This sense of purpose was particularly evident as she balanced an 18-hour semester load, part-time work, and busy family life during her 3L fall. It was her best semester yet.
The drive to set a positive example for their children also featured prominently in the interviews. One mother, reflecting on her journey through law school while pregnant, shared how special it was to see her child in the audience during graduation.
Finally, many mothers gave credit to their supportive partners, noting that it really does take a village. Other mothers who are happily unpartnered referenced the importance of found community and other kinds of family support.
I attend the University of Louisville and have been extraordinarily fortunate with the response from administrative officials in navigating changes to the pregnancy and parenting policy within the law school. It is particularly helpful that our Dean practiced for years in family law before becoming an administrator. She helped us create lactation rooms within the law school in her first year as Dean.
Kylie also shared a positive experience with the Deans of her law school who had an open-door policy. One professor also accommodated her by allowing her to submit a paper instead of taking a final exam due to her pregnancy. She noted that while this flexibility was appreciated, such accommodations should not be left to the discretion of individual professors. "It shouldn't be up to the professor to decide what accommodations are appropriate. There needs to be a more standardized system in place." Forming communities, like PALS, allows students to advocate for one another and as a collective.
Other students are not as fortunate within their campus communities. One interviewee, who faced difficulties nursing while attending classes, shared how the school lacked a designated lactation room, forcing her to nurse in her car with a blanket over her head. "Law schools need to continually assess the needs of their students," she stated. "The demographics are changing, and law schools need to be aware of that. There should be spaces for parents, and professors need to be more sensitive to the realities of student parents."
While individual law schools have different accommodations policies, one universal federal policy that can support student parents is Title IX. Under Title IX provisions, students are protected from sex discrimination and the rights of pregnant and parenting students are protected. At the University of Maryland, administration is responsible for advising the student who discloses a pregnancy to them how to seek Title IX accommodations. This can also be explored as a pathway to advocacy at other law schools.
While the strength and determination of student parents are universal in spite of the law schools they attend, the institutional support at law schools has been varied. One hope amongst the interviewees is that changes can be made to better accommodate student parents. Some notable examples included: the creation of daycare voucher programs, additional funding for parents, and more flexible course options. The following list includes just a few examples.
While the challenges of being a student parent in law school are significant, the determination, resilience, and drive that many student parents exhibit is equally remarkable. Law schools have a responsibility to evolve with the changing demographics of their students. By implementing changes such as flexible scheduling, childcare support, and increased sensitivity to the unique needs of student parents, law schools can create an environment where these students can thrive both as parents and as legal professionals.
The journey is undoubtedly difficult, but for many, the motivation to provide a better future for their families and the sense of accomplishment upon graduation make it all worthwhile. As Ms. Jackie poignantly noted, "You never know how your journey can impact others." By providing the right support, law schools can help student parents not only succeed academically but also serve as powerful role models for the next generation.
Andi is a staff attorney at the Children's Law Center. She graduated magna cum laude from the University of Louisville’s Brandeis School of Law, where she served as President of the Student Bar Association. She was the sole law student member of the American Bar Association's Board of Governors.
Andi is a Truman Scholar, Rhodes Scholarship Finalist, New Leaders Council Fellow, and graduate of Emerge Kentucky. She has worked with the U.S. House of Representatives, the Kentucky Supreme Court, and the Kentucky State Senate, as well as nonprofit organizations,
such as Mothers Esquire and the World Affairs Council.
Andi has co-authored more than forty publications in Spanish, Mandarin, and English, including one book chapter for the Oxford Research Encyclopedia of Politics. She served as student body president and student regent at Western Kentucky University, where she graduated summa cum laude with quadruple majors in Economics, International Affairs, Spanish, and Asian Religions and Cultures. She has studied abroad thirteen times.
In her spare time, Andi enjoys salsa dancing, hiking, and Pure Barre classes. Andi aspires to a career in policy, working to mitigate inequality and promote economic opportunity in the Commonwealth of Kentucky.
Determined to Rise. Equipped to Lead.
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