Home
About
Contents
Lost in the Law?Make Your Pre-Law Career Your Ultimate Law School AdvantageThe Unsppoken Curriculum: What Women of Color Know That Law School Doesn't TeachThe Voices Behind the Curve: Mental Health in Law SchoolBelonging in Law — A Love Letter to Those Who Don’t Fit in the Box 🩷Inside the Lawyer's OfficeNetworking: The Pathway to SuccessWhat The Future Holds - Mother's in the Legal FieldThe Only One in the Room: Stories of Black Women in LawCharting Your Course in Tech Law: A Practical Toolkit for Women Law Students
Resource Guide
Pre-Law Foundations
Contact
Home
About
Contents
Lost in the Law?Make Your Pre-Law Career Your Ultimate Law School AdvantageThe Unsppoken Curriculum: What Women of Color Know That Law School Doesn't TeachThe Voices Behind the Curve: Mental Health in Law SchoolBelonging in Law — A Love Letter to Those Who Don’t Fit in the Box 🩷Inside the Lawyer's OfficeNetworking: The Pathway to SuccessWhat The Future Holds - Mother's in the Legal FieldThe Only One in the Room: Stories of Black Women in LawCharting Your Course in Tech Law: A Practical Toolkit for Women Law Students
Resource Guide
Pre-Law Foundations
Contact

What the Future Holds:

Mother's in the Legal Field

by Alexis Self

When entering law school, students typically are overwhelmed by the intensity of legal material, the pressure to excel in classes, and adjusting to the new educational norm that is law school. The transition into law school can be shocking to even the most prepared academic students. As a parent, you have even more layers to transitioning law school. No matter what stage of parenting you are in, you have the responsibility of another human or multiple other humans. There are nap times, daycare schedules, practices, and school events. The responsibilities don’t stop the day that you transition into law school – your responsibilities just expand and as a law student you adjust. This can look like early morning studying or late nights after bedtime routines. Just like being a parent in law school has its challenges being a parent in the legal field does to.

THE REALITY OF LEGAL WORK AND BALANCING MOTHERHOOD

Graduation, bar prep, and passing the bar quickly translates into being a full-time employee as a lawyer. This transition can be just as difficult as transitioning into law school as recent graduates typically experience imposter syndrome, demanding schedules, and developing the practical application of the law. Again, parents have to face this with the additional layer of responsibility which can heavily influence the career choice a student pursues. The legal industry is filled with different pathways with each having different expectations and requirements for moms – just as moms typically have different societal expectations than a father. The difficulty in choosing a career path can feel daunting as a balance between motherhood and successful career can be difficult often leading to “judgement from people who don’t have kids” and “cluelessness from older men.”

The difficulty of legal practice and motherhood is experienced throughout all areas of the law. Mother’s currently in the legal practice describing it as “balancing my personal expectations as a parent was the hardest – I longer for work some days but always juggled the guilt of not being with my children.” Many moms, when sharing the most difficult part about entering the legal field discuss guilt, the expected long hours, and taking the time to care for yourself. Despite the intensity and dedication, the career necessitates, lawyer moms are not without advice. When organizing a panel of parent lawyers to speak on the issue, there was one quote that truly stuck out to me. She said “on the days I’m a good mom, I’m a bad lawyer and the days I’m a good lawyer I’m a bad mom.”

As you transition from student to lawyer, the decision and priority of what you want in your career is a choice for yourself. Each student has already made the impossible decision to decide to go to law school. For three years, you are tested to the best of your capabilities to handle growing responsibilities in and out of school. No matter the hat you wear for the hour – student, mom, lawyer, choose a path that supports your values, respects your boundaries and is in the industry that interests you!

TAKE IT FROM SUCCESSFUL MOTHER LAWYERS IN THE FIELD, YOU GOT THIS!

Setting Your Boundaries

"Establish your priorities and stick with them. Do you want to be at dinner with your family by 6? Do it. Do you want to become partner by 40? Do it. Being a mom in the legal field looks different for everyone based on their priorities. Don't let anyone make you feel bad about what you want"

"Set your priorities and boundaries early and communicate respectfully and professionally with coworkers. Always set your person/private deadlines to complete a task well before it is actually due."

"Be very intentional at setting boundaries. If your group/supervisor isn't understanding, you may have to search for a firm/supervisor that is. Be very intentional about trying to find a good culture fit in the interview process. Also, seek out other parents in law school and BigLaw. It truly takes a village!"

"Find a job that allows you to stick to said priorities. I graduated law school single and without kids. Within six years of practice, I was married and expecting. I had to find a job that allowed me to have my priorities."

"Decide what type of flexibility in the workplace is a must have and when you need that. It can change over time. Certain senior roles allow for more control of your time while others have you on call more."

Know Your Values

"Don't limit yourself but also be realistic. For me, making less money to have more flexibility was a worthwhile sacrifice. I want my kids to see that women can be leaders and have a career... But I also want to SEE my kids."

"There are seasons in life: pre-child you may be the rockstar who can take on every reach opportunity; with an infant, you may just be sustaining. But season come again and you'll be able to be the rockstar soon enough. Have patience, especially with yourself."

"Assess your values and create a career that supports them."

"There's always guilt or the feeling you are lacking somewhere. But, when you find a supervisor/firm that gets it, it makes the journey so much more bearable. It does sometimes take a while to find your people/firm fit."

"You have to prioritize where you want to spend your time. I prioritize work and my kids. Most other things (maintain the house, dropping kids at various activities after school, etc., gets outsourced)."

"Be honest and ask [yourself] what you want out of your career. That will guide your path. For example, I love working. I think it's fun. But I have friends that don't see work that way. They would prefer a government job that has more normal hours so they can have a regular schedule with their families. Whereas I don't mind making all the pieces fit and work like a big puzzle everyday."

If there was something I would change, "I would do better about not trying to be a people pleaser and setting more boundaries. I said yes to everything in hopes of making partner and that lead to burn out which made me an exhausted/not fully present parent."

Understand the Industry

"Litigation gets really busy but I have more flexibility than most as a remote worker.

"The company I work for now is great for working parents; however, I had to take a significant pay cut to take that job."

"Do not be swayed by financial fears and jump into a firm or legal area based on current economic standing. Ask your potential employer how they navigate or work with other employees, associates, etc. who have children and may be called away at moments notice. As a parent, you cannot predict illness, accidents, or daycare and school closings. Will the firm or employer be accommodations, if so, how? Don't settle, reach out and connect with other alumni; I can guarantee you will find someone who can connect you with a more appropriate and aligned employer. Your knowledge and skill are valuable; you will excel and become an important asset. You achieve more personally and professionally when the work environment doesn't add more stress on top of your work/case load."

"Things seem to be improving; however, legal field culture of essentially being on call 24-7 and working long hours still exists."

"I work at a corporation that understands that we are all adults. You get your work done and you also make time to go to the kids' concert at 10am on a Tuesday. I work to keep it all in balance and some days are easier than others but I am generally able to make it work. That being said, I have needed to invest in support such as hiring a nanny/house manager, someone to clean once a week. For me, that support helps me perform the way I want to at work and be focused on time with my kids when I'm not working."

ALEXIS SELF

Originally from Louisville, Kentucky, Alexis has lived in several dynamic cities including Las Vegas, New York City, and Tampa, Florida. She earned my Bachelor's degree in Business Administration with a focus in Fashion Merchandising from LIM College, followed by a Master's degree from Grand Canyon University. Recently, Alexis has graduated with her Juris Doctor at the University of Louisville, following a non-traditional but deeply fulfilling path to a legal career.

Throughout law school, Alexis remained committed to both academic excellence and community impact. She had the opportunity to serve as the Central High School Fellow, where she taught high school students about street law and constitutional law, helping to make legal education more accessible and empowering for young people. She also served as the President of Parents Attending Law School (PALS), a student organization dedicated to supporting law student parents in balancing family and academic responsibilities. Her first two years of law school she served on the Student Bar Association to represent her class in student government. During this final year, Alexis was able to be a pupil for the Brandeis Inn of Court. 

Professionally, Alexis plans to continue working in employment law representing employees who have been discriminated against in the workplace. She currently plans to work for an employment law firm in Chicago, which has allowed her to gain practical experience in advocating for workers' rights.

Outside of law school, Alexis enjoys reading, hiking, and spending quality time with her family. Just before law school, Alexis had twin boys, Sylas and Sawyer. During her final year of law school, Alexis gave birth to her third baby boy - Slayton, who made his appearance just 4 days before her graduation. Throughout law school, Alexis has been supported by her amazing husband, Skyler, who she has been married to for nearly eight years.